Periods of change, such as leaving a parent, going to camp or starting school can trigger anxiety. These worries may show up in children as appetite or sleep problems, nail biting, hair twirling and lip chewing – the same as in adults under stress.
Girls are more prone to worry than boys because they have a tendency to internalize their feelings more. Boys tend to act out, but either sex can exhibit either behavior.
Anxiety, to a degree, is a normal, natural reaction and is an important part of a child’s development. When people get into a life or death situation, they need to get anxious to develop the appropriate responses. When anxiety impairs a child’s normal function, then it becomes a concern.
Imagination is a good thing for children to develop as they begin thinking more abstractly and about the future. But imagination can couple with anxieties to make them worse. When their imagination takes over and a fear of monsters coming into their room at night causes sleep difficulties, then it is a problem.
Children will also pick up cues from those around them. If a child sees an overly anxious parent, they will also tend to be overly anxious. Parents need to be honest with their children and let them know that parents can also have fears. But, parents need to consider a child’s developmental level when discussing these emotions. Children need to see how parents cope with their anxieties so that they can develop some of these skills for their own use. Parents can help their children understand that anxiety is a normal function, then model what they are going to do about it.
Some children will take their worries to extremes. If a child’s fears are so great that they are unable to participate in normal activities, parents might want to discuss them with their pediatrician.
Since many anxieties that children experience have to do with school, often showing up as school avoidance behaviors, it is important to work with the school to overcome them. Your child’s teacher, school nurse and counselor are important allies in helping a child deal with their worries and develop coping skills that will help them throughout their lives.
